The Nausea is tapering off (but still rears its ugly head after dinner) but The Hunger is now alive and well. Before you came, feeling hungry was just a passing feeling. Usually starts with an appetite, then a hollow feeling in my stomach - which is usually mentally supressed because it's still 11am and I have 4 more patients till lunch - then hunger breath sets in until I get a meal and all is right with the world. Now .... oh boy, talk about 0 to 90 is 3.5 seconds. I go from pleasant and calm to raging hungry Hulk and nothing will calm me down until I have something in my stomach. The Hunger is so bad I cannot do anything to distract myself from it - even candies and gum doesn't work to calm it down. And usually it wants something salty and chewy. I have never been a fast food junky (post college) but lately I've found myself frequenting Burger King, Del Taco (thank God I'm on the west coast now), and McD's. I know they're bad, but so far this new turn of events has been so unexpected I don't know how to go about it other than pigging out at the nearest cholesterol factory. Bringing nuts and fruit doesn't work because nothing will take the place of comforting and filling Burger King fries with ranch. By the way, I will have to stop eating those chicken nuggets you love - I was told they're toxic.
Luckily, I'm still working out. Today we did an hour of circuit training with coworkers. We were sweating bullets but we did it. Looks like we still got the legs and guns. : ) Man, I smell horrible. Is this your hormonal doing also?
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Previously on Pregnancy ...
Knowing you're half Asian, you should already be good at Math. Knowing you're good at Math, you've probably figured out and calculated that I've started this blog 10 weeks into having you. So here's catch-up on all the funny and not-so-funny things:
1) I first found out I had you when we were at Auntie Susmitha's wedding in New Jersey. It happened the night before her big day and I wanted to go out drinking and partying with everyone but things were a bit off so I took a pee test. First test was a mess, I pissed over the whole damn stick. Sure enough it was positive and your dad said, with how I did it I would've made any test positive. So we did another cleaner one. Immediately, the positive sign came up and we were so surprised. It was unreal because I never thought I would be able to ever come to this point in my life. We called Meemaw and Gramma, Po-po and Auntie Julie, then we broke the news to everyone at the wedding. We tried to do it with tact, but sometimes we just can't help show our excitement. Little did I know that the next few weeks would be absolutely agonizing ....
2) The nausea set in really fast. I have tried to exercise as strong of a will-power as I can get to not hurl. (The image of starving you of your nutrition and food was enough to keep me strong) But it didn't always work.... last week your dad farted and I lost my dinner ...violently. If you're old enough to read this, you're old enough to know how bad your dad smells sometimes.
3) Work was tough. Suddenly I had the skills of a bloodhound and was able to pinpoint with precise accuracy how long a person has gone without a shower. And my churning stomach was quick to point that out. This made some of my encounters with patients absolutely unbearable.
4) We saw you on the ultrasound! You were a small jellybean with a small beating heart. Unfortunately our midwife had a machine from the 1940's and you were surrounded with what looks to be a couch, TV, coffee table next to you in my uterus. The midwife said they were pieces of placenta forming. Looking at the picture, I bed to differ. Hope you have DVR.
5) One night I had a dream that you got hold of a laser pointer. You were trying to shine it through my belly for fun until you found my vag. I looked down in betwixt my legs and was amused to find a full-blown laser show reminiscent of Jenner Lopez's music video "Waiting for Tonight" complete with planets and stars. I woke up laughing.
6) I had a scarey dream this weekend of losing you. Your dad was there and I was just waking up in my dream only to find myself lying in a pool of blood. I woke up from this dream crying and wailing. I promised myself not to b*tch anymore about feeling nauseous or at how horrible being pregnant is (sorry that promise didn't last long). Truth is, it could still very well happen. I've accepted this. Although I wish for it not to happen, I want you to know that I will always love you, no matter what, and you will forever be my baby.
1) I first found out I had you when we were at Auntie Susmitha's wedding in New Jersey. It happened the night before her big day and I wanted to go out drinking and partying with everyone but things were a bit off so I took a pee test. First test was a mess, I pissed over the whole damn stick. Sure enough it was positive and your dad said, with how I did it I would've made any test positive. So we did another cleaner one. Immediately, the positive sign came up and we were so surprised. It was unreal because I never thought I would be able to ever come to this point in my life. We called Meemaw and Gramma, Po-po and Auntie Julie, then we broke the news to everyone at the wedding. We tried to do it with tact, but sometimes we just can't help show our excitement. Little did I know that the next few weeks would be absolutely agonizing ....
2) The nausea set in really fast. I have tried to exercise as strong of a will-power as I can get to not hurl. (The image of starving you of your nutrition and food was enough to keep me strong) But it didn't always work.... last week your dad farted and I lost my dinner ...violently. If you're old enough to read this, you're old enough to know how bad your dad smells sometimes.
3) Work was tough. Suddenly I had the skills of a bloodhound and was able to pinpoint with precise accuracy how long a person has gone without a shower. And my churning stomach was quick to point that out. This made some of my encounters with patients absolutely unbearable.
4) We saw you on the ultrasound! You were a small jellybean with a small beating heart. Unfortunately our midwife had a machine from the 1940's and you were surrounded with what looks to be a couch, TV, coffee table next to you in my uterus. The midwife said they were pieces of placenta forming. Looking at the picture, I bed to differ. Hope you have DVR.
5) One night I had a dream that you got hold of a laser pointer. You were trying to shine it through my belly for fun until you found my vag. I looked down in betwixt my legs and was amused to find a full-blown laser show reminiscent of Jenner Lopez's music video "Waiting for Tonight" complete with planets and stars. I woke up laughing.
6) I had a scarey dream this weekend of losing you. Your dad was there and I was just waking up in my dream only to find myself lying in a pool of blood. I woke up from this dream crying and wailing. I promised myself not to b*tch anymore about feeling nauseous or at how horrible being pregnant is (sorry that promise didn't last long). Truth is, it could still very well happen. I've accepted this. Although I wish for it not to happen, I want you to know that I will always love you, no matter what, and you will forever be my baby.
Monday, July 12, 2010
I should be working out ... but ....
All I can think of is sleep, and burping. It has been a horrendous 2 months of pregnancy. I really don't want to say this, but I really don't want to do this ever again. I know everyone says "oh what a beautiful experience!" but honestly those who think it is either don't have jobs (and thus few obligations to put on a smiling face while feeling like up-chucking) and have never felt morning sickness. I know I know I whine I whine. A patient enlightened me the other day: I have been miserable about pregnancy because I haven't quite grasped that I am nurturing a little human in me. I have to admit that the guy is right - I have been so focused on the biology and development of it all that I have forgotten that I am harboring a soul in me. A soul who will dream, and want to accomplish things, and feel and eat and laugh and be.
Unfortunately though, I always seem to forget this very important detail. Thus I am writing a blog, as a constant reminder that I am carrying You. That, and I just want to b*tch about how much pregnancy sucks.
Unfortunately though, I always seem to forget this very important detail. Thus I am writing a blog, as a constant reminder that I am carrying You. That, and I just want to b*tch about how much pregnancy sucks.
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