You are now 32 weeks old and you are so enjoying your home in my belly. The midwife said you're still head-down and your back is on my right side. I am feeling kicks from you from right under my chestbone. You are long! Sometimes I feel both your arms and your legs stretch out at the same time and it is such a trip to see how much you've grown!
I have been obsessed with TLC's "A Baby Story". That show is addicting to say the least. When all I can think about is how I will deal with labor, I marvel at how other women do it in front of the camera on that show. I oftentimes wonder whether they get some sort of money deal for taping it. Free crib maybe. I don't think I would want a stranger-camera-man taping me while spread-eagle in pain. Then again, maybe there are Doula-camera-women I can tolerate.
Your father insists my brain works at only 20% capacity half the time. It is really bizarre. He tells me of conversations that I swear have never happened. I don't remember looking up Hawaii airfares a month ago. I don't remember when he tells me he's going to stay in for work the next day. I think I'm losing it.
Speaking of losing it, my midwife thinks I could be depressed. Truth of the matter is, last week was the second consecutive week that I did not have any time to myself at all. Things have been busy at work and I have been extending my hours; and your Grandmas were visiting from Cape Cod. All this commotion, paired with the discomfort of having gained 24 lbs, I really was near to tears when I had my midwife appointment.
No one really understands how uncomfortable it is to wear maternity pants that once draped you like a toga and is now snug and constricting your bladder. Just try to picture this: your boobs have grown double in size and quadruple in weight, it's dragging down on you and making your upper back hurt, your stomach is stretching to beyond it's capacity and you have absolutely no more room in there for anything extra. Gas, pee, poop all has to leave as soon as they come to make room for a baby. Heartburn and bloating is a regular occurence. And people still expect me to act like normal and keep up with daily life? Bend over to feed the dog? Ya I don't think I've done that in months. More like collapse my knees on the floor and pray I can hoist myself up again.
No I'm not depressed. Just whiney and achy. I have never been one to act entitled. But what I really want more than anything in life right now is to be treated like a princess. Your dad has been trying, but like I said, I don't usually go around acting like I'm entitled so I don't think he's used to the 'attitude'.
Whining aside, I have been happy and content. Your dad gave me rainboots for Christmas and this nice millet-filled hippy pillow from the Saturday market. That, and I know I have 4 more massages lined up in a spa package that I just bought for myself. Not to mention we have about 90% of what we need for your arrival already. I have a prenatal yago video sitting on my desk waiting for me to try out this Wednesday. And we have a preliminary visit to the hospital lined up for this Saturday. So we're locked and loaded, baby. We are definitely getting ready to see you and receive you with flannel-lined arms.
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